April 14 is International Moment of Laughter Day. I thought it would be great to collect jokes from Velsoftians so that we could all have a few moments of laughter. The response was overwhelming. Here are some of the jokes I received:

Jan Two cows are standing in a field.
One cow says “MOOOOO!”
The other cow says pretty much the same thing.
Ben What did the policeman say to his belly button?

You’re under a vest!
Jim What’s the best way to carve wood?

Whittle by whittle.
Carol Who is bigger: Mr. Bigger or Mr. Bigger’s baby?

The baby, because she’s a little bigger.
Sandra Who’s the king of the classroom?

The Ruler!
Dylan Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil?

Because it’s pointless!
Sydney What do you call someone else’s cheese?

Nacho Cheese!
Ian What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?

“Robin, get in the car.”
Brandon Why do gorillas have big nostrils?

Because gorillas have big fingers.
Jimmy What did the pirate say when he turned 80?

Eye-matey!
Cindy What’s Forrest Gump’s email password?

1forrest1
Michael How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas?

He felt his presents!
Dave Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Dishes.
Dishes who?
Dishes Sean Connery!
Scott Why was the snowman looking through a bag of carrots?

He was picking his nose!
Alex Why don’t they play poker in the jungle?

Too many cheetahs.
Pablo Why was the broom late for the meeting?

It overswept!
Maria What is the difference between three and two?

One!
Jean How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

You check for fresh prince!
Craig What’s the last thing that goes through a bug’s mind when it hits a windshield?

Its butt.

What’s in the Pipeline

  • Sydney is working on custom projects.
  • Dylan is working on custom projects.
  • Ben is working on custom projects.
  • Jan is on vacation.
  • Carol is editing custom projects and refreshing courses.

Tech Topics

Improvements

  • Course revision history:
    • Reduced the number of entries added to the revision history when saving pages. Previously, two entries were always added: “modified page” and “modified metadata.” The metadata entry will now only be added when questions are removed from a page.
    • The “modified metadata” entry will now have an author set when a page is saved or a question is added to a page.

Bug fixes

  • Fixed overall course scores in reports not updating in some cases:
    • When cloning, copying, or deleting a page that has questions.
    • When adding a question to a page.
    • When removing a question from a page.
    • When inserting a page break and there are questions after the break.
    • When the mobile app synchronizes answers that were submitted offline.
  • Fixed an error that occurs when exporting a course to EPUB format.

Course Count

Courses released this month:

Story Marketing for Small Businesses

Microsoft Office 365: 2018 New Features

Here is the official count of courses for both courseware and eLearning:

Computer SoftSkills Total Courses
Courseware 291 180 471
eLearning 947 178 1125

Extra Jokes:

  • Why didn’t the astronaut come home to his wife?
    • He needed his space.
  • What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
    • “Supplies!”
  • Why did the scarecrow win an award?
    • He was outstanding in his field.
  • What did the buffalo say when his son left?
    • Bison!
  • What don’t ants get sick?
    • They have anty-bodies.
  • When is your door not actually a door?
    • When it’s ajar.
  • What’s green, fuzzy, and would hurt if it fell on you out of a tree?
    • A pool table.
  • Have you heard the one about the corduroy pillow?
    • It’s making headlines.
  • Did you hear about the two thieves who stole a calendar?
    • They each got six months.
  • Have you heard of the band 923 Megabytes?
    • Probably not, they haven’t had a gig yet.
  • What’s the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?
    • “Oops!”